5 kx Let's call it an accidental feature.
5 kx -- Larry Wall
5 kx %
5 kx I did this 'cause Linux gives me a woody. It doesn't generate revenue.
5 kx -- Dave '-ddt->` Taylor, announcing DOOM for Linux
5 kx %
5 kx Feel free to contact me (flames about my english and the useless of this
5 kx driver will be redirected to /dev/null, oh no, it's full...).
5 kx -- Michael Beck, describing the PC-speaker sound device
5 kx %
5 kx if (argc > 1 && strcmp(argv[1], "-advice") == 0) {
5 kx printf("Don't Panic!\n");
5 kx exit(42);
5 kx }
5 kx -- Arnold Robbins in the LJ of February '95, describing RCS
5 kx %
5 kx lp1 on fire
5 kx -- One of the more obfuscated kernel messages
5 kx %
5 kx A Linux machine! Because a 486 is a terrible thing to waste!
5 kx -- Joe Sloan, jjs@wintermute.ucr.edu
5 kx %
5 kx Microsoft is not the answer.
5 kx Microsoft is the question.
5 kx NO (or Linux) is the answer.
5 kx -- Taken from a .signature from someone from the UK, source unknown
5 kx %
5 kx In most countries selling harmful things like drugs is punishable.
5 kx Then howcome people can sell Microsoft software and go unpunished?
5 kx -- Hasse Skrifvars, hasku@rost.abo.fi,
5 kx %
5 kx Windows without the X is like making love without a partner.
5 kx Sex, Drugs & Linux Rules
5 kx win-nt from the people who invented edlin.
5 kx Apples have meant trouble since eden.
5 kx Linux, the way to get rid of boot viruses
5 kx -- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi
5 kx %
5 kx Once upon a time there was a DOS user who saw Unix, and saw that it was
5 kx good. After typing cp on his DOS machine at home, he downloaded GNU's
5 kx unix tools ported to DOS and installed them. He rm'd, cp'd, and mv'd
5 kx happily for many days, and upon finding elvis, he vi'd and was happy. After
5 kx a long day at work (on a Unix box) he came home, started editing a file,
5 kx and couldn't figure out why he couldn't suspend vi (w/ ctrl-z) to do
5 kx a compile.
5 kx -- Erik Troan, ewt@tipper.oit.unc.edu
5 kx %
5 kx We are MicroSoft. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
5 kx -- Attributed to B.G., Gill Bates
5 kx %
5 kx Avoid the Gates of Hell. Use Linux
5 kx -- unknown source
5 kx %
5 kx Intel engineering seem to have misheard Intel marketing strategy. The
5 kx phrase was "Divide and conquer" not "Divide and cock up"
5 kx -- Alan Cox, iialan@www.linux.org.uk
5 kx %
5 kx Linux! Guerrilla UNIX Development Venimus, Vidimus, Dolavimus.
5 kx -- Mark A. Horton KA4YBR, mah@ka4ybr.com
5 kx %
5 kx ----==-- _ / / \
5 kx ---==---(_)__ __ ____ __ / / /\ \
5 kx --==---/ / _ \/ // /\ \/ / / /_/\ \ \
5 kx -=====/_/_//_/\_,_/ /_/\_\ /______\ \ \
5 kx A proud member of TeamLinux \_________\/
5 kx -- CHaley (HAC), haley@unm.edu, ch008cth@pi.lanl.gov)
5 kx %
5 kx "Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?"
5 kx Microsoft spel chekar vor sail, worgs grate !!
5 kx -- Felix von Leitner, leitner@inf.fu-berlin.de
5 kx %
5 kx Personally, I think my choice in the mostest-superlative-computer wars has to
5 kx be the HP-48 series of calculators. They'll run almost anything. And if they
5 kx can't, while I'll just plug a Linux box into the serial port and load up the
5 kx HP-48 VT-100 emulator.
5 kx -- Jeff Dege, jdege@winternet.com
5 kx %
5 kx There are no threads in a.b.p.erotica, so there's no gain in using a
5 kx threaded news reader.
5 kx -- unknown source
5 kx %
5 kx /*
5 kx * Oops. The kernel tried to access some bad page. We'll have to
5 kx * terminate things with extreme prejudice.
5 kx */
5 kx die_if_kernel("Oops", regs, error_code);
5 kx -- From linux/arch/i386/mm/fault.c
5 kx %
5 kx Linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste
5 kx -- ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93
5 kx %
5 kx Linux: the choice of a GNU generation
5 kx -- ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93
5 kx %
5 kx There are two types of Linux developers - those who can spell, and
5 kx those who can't. There is a constant pitched battle between the two.
5 kx -- From one of the post-1.1.54 kernel update messages posted to c.o.l.a
5 kx %
5 kx > > Other than the fact Linux has a cool name, could someone explain why I
5 kx > > should use Linux over BSD?
5 kx >
5 kx > No. That's it. The cool name, that is. We worked very hard on
5 kx > creating a name that would appeal to the majority of people, and it
5 kx > certainly paid off: thousands of people are using linux just to be able
5 kx > to say "OS/2? Hah. I've got Linux. What a cool name". 386BSD made the
5 kx > mistake of putting a lot of numbers and weird abbreviations into the
5 kx > name, and is scaring away a lot of people just because it sounds too
5 kx > technical.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds' follow-up to a question about Linux
5 kx %
5 kx > The day people think linux would be better served by somebody else (FSF
5 kx > being the natural alternative), I'll "abdicate". I don't think that
5 kx > it's something people have to worry about right now - I don't see it
5 kx > happening in the near future. I enjoy doing linux, even though it does
5 kx > mean some work, and I haven't gotten any complaints (some almost timid
5 kx > reminders about a patch I have forgotten or ignored, but nothing
5 kx > negative so far).
5 kx >
5 kx > Don't take the above to mean that I'll stop the day somebody complains:
5 kx > I'm thick-skinned (Lasu, who is reading this over my shoulder commented
5 kx > that "thick-HEADED is closer to the truth") enough to take some abuse.
5 kx > If I weren't, I'd have stopped developing linux the day ast ridiculed me
5 kx > on c.o.minix. What I mean is just that while linux has been my baby so
5 kx > far, I don't want to stand in the way if people want to make something
5 kx > better of it (*).
5 kx >
5 kx > Linus
5 kx >
5 kx > (*) Hey, maybe I could apply for a saint-hood from the Pope. Does
5 kx > somebody know what his email-address is? I'm so nice it makes you puke.
5 kx -- Taken from Linus's reply to someone worried about the future of Linux
5 kx %
5 kx > : Any porters out there should feel happier knowing that DEC is shipping
5 kx > : me an AlphaPC that I intend to try getting linux running on: this will
5 kx > : definitely help flush out some of the most flagrant unportable stuff.
5 kx > : The Alpha is much more different from the i386 than the 68k stuff is, so
5 kx > : it's likely to get most of the stuff fixed.
5 kx >
5 kx > It's posts like this that almost convince us non-believers that there
5 kx > really is a god.
5 kx -- Anthony Lovell, to Linus's remarks about porting
5 kx %
5 kx When you say "I wrote a program that crashed Windows", people just stare at
5 kx you blankly and say "Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*".
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds
5 kx %
5 kx We come to bury DOS, not to praise it.
5 kx -- Paul Vojta, vojta@math.berkeley.edu
5 kx %
5 kx Be warned that typing \fBkillall \fIname\fP may not have the desired
5 kx effect on non-Linux systems, especially when done by a privileged user.
5 kx -- From the killall manual page
5 kx %
5 kx Note that if I can get you to "su and say" something just by asking,
5 kx you have a very serious security problem on your system and you should
5 kx look into it.
5 kx -- Paul Vixie, vixie-cron 3.0.1 installation notes
5 kx %
5 kx How should I know if it works? That's what beta testers are for. I
5 kx only coded it.
5 kx -- Attributed to Linus Torvalds, somewhere in a posting
5 kx %
5 kx I develop for Linux for a living, I used to develop for DOS.
5 kx Going from DOS to Linux is like trading a glider for an F117.
5 kx -- Lawrence Foard, entropy@world.std.com
5 kx %
5 kx Absolutely nothing should be concluded from these figures except that
5 kx no conclusion can be drawn from them.
5 kx -- Joseph L. Brothers, Linux/PowerPC Project)
5 kx %
5 kx If the future navigation system [for interactive networked services on
5 kx the NII] looks like something from Microsoft, it will never work.
5 kx -- Chairman of Walt Disney Television & Telecommunications
5 kx %
5 kx Problem solving under Linux has never been the circus that it is under
5 kx AIX.
5 kx -- Pete Ehlke in comp.unix.aix
5 kx %
5 kx I don't know why, but first C programs tend to look a lot worse than
5 kx first programs in any other language (maybe except for fortran, but then
5 kx I suspect all fortran programs look like `firsts')
5 kx -- Olaf Kirch
5 kx %
5 kx On a normal ascii line, the only safe condition to detect is a 'BREAK'
5 kx - everything else having been assigned functions by Gnu EMACS.
5 kx -- Tarl Neustaedter
5 kx %
5 kx By golly, I'm beginning to think Linux really *is* the best thing since
5 kx sliced bread.
5 kx -- Vance Petree, Virginia Power
5 kx %
5 kx I'd crawl over an acre of 'Visual This++' and 'Integrated Development
5 kx That' to get to gcc, Emacs, and gdb. Thank you.
5 kx -- Vance Petree, Virginia Power
5 kx %
5 kx Oh, I've seen copies [of Linux Journal] around the terminal room at The Labs.
5 kx -- Dennis Ritchie
5 kx %
5 kx If you want to travel around the world and be invited to speak at a lot
5 kx of different places, just write a Unix operating system.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds
5 kx %
5 kx ...and scantily clad females, of course. Who cares if it's below zero
5 kx outside.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds
5 kx %
5 kx ...you might as well skip the Xmas celebration completely, and instead
5 kx sit in front of your linux computer playing with the all-new-and-improved
5 kx linux kernel version.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds
5 kx %
5 kx Besides, I think Slackware sounds better than 'Microsoft,' don't you?
5 kx -- Patrick Volkerding
5 kx %
5 kx All language designers are arrogant. Goes with the territory...
5 kx -- Larry Wall
5 kx %
5 kx And the next time you consider complaining that running Lucid Emacs
5 kx 19.05 via NFS from a remote Linux machine in Paraguay doesn't seem to
5 kx get the background colors right, you'll know who to thank.
5 kx -- Matt Welsh
5 kx %
5 kx Are Linux users lemmings collectively jumping off of the cliff of
5 kx reliable, well-engineered commercial software?
5 kx -- Matt Welsh
5 kx %
5 kx Even more amazing was the realization that God has Internet access. I
5 kx wonder if He has a full newsfeed?
5 kx -- Matt Welsh
5 kx %
5 kx I once witnessed a long-winded, month-long flamewar over the use of
5 kx mice vs. trackballs... It was very silly.
5 kx -- Matt Welsh
5 kx %
5 kx Linux poses a real challenge for those with a taste for late-night
5 kx hacking (and/or conversations with God).
5 kx -- Matt Welsh
5 kx %
5 kx What you end up with, after running an operating system concept through
5 kx these many marketing coffee filters, is something not unlike plain hot
5 kx water.
5 kx -- Matt Welsh
5 kx %
5 kx ...Deep Hack Mode -- that mysterious and frightening state of
5 kx consciousness where Mortal Users fear to tread.
5 kx -- Matt Welsh
5 kx %
5 kx ...Unix, MS-DOS, and Windows NT (also known as the Good, the Bad, and
5 kx the Ugly).
5 kx -- Matt Welsh
5 kx %
5 kx ...very few phenomena can pull someone out of Deep Hack Mode, with two
5 kx noted exceptions: being struck by lightning, or worse, your *computer*
5 kx being struck by lightning.
5 kx -- Matt Welsh
5 kx %
5 kx ..you could spend *all day* customizing the title bar. Believe me. I
5 kx speak from experience.
5 kx -- Matt Welsh
5 kx %
5 kx [In 'Doctor' mode], I spent a good ten minutes telling Emacs what I
5 kx thought of it. (The response was, 'Perhaps you could try to be less
5 kx abusive.')
5 kx -- Matt Welsh
5 kx %
5 kx I would rather spend 10 hours reading someone else's source code than
5 kx 10 minutes listening to Musak waiting for technical support which isn't.
5 kx -- Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center
5 kx %
5 kx ...[Linux's] capacity to talk via any medium except smoke signals.
5 kx -- Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center
5 kx %
5 kx Whip me. Beat me. Make me maintain AIX.
5 kx -- Stephan Zielinski
5 kx %
5 kx Your job is being a professor and researcher: That's one hell of a good excuse
5 kx for some of the brain-damages of minix.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds to Andrew Tanenbaum
5 kx %
5 kx I still maintain the point that designing a monolithic kernel in 1991 is a
5 kx fundamental error. Be thankful you are not my student. You would not get a
5 kx high grade for such a design :-)
5 kx -- Andrew Tanenbaum to Linus Torvalds
5 kx %
5 kx We use Linux for all our mission-critical applications. Having the source code
5 kx means that we are not held hostage by anyone's support department.
5 kx -- Russell Nelson, President of Crynwr Software
5 kx %
5 kx Linux is obsolete
5 kx -- Andrew Tanenbaum
5 kx %
5 kx Dijkstra probably hates me.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds, in kernel/sched.c
5 kx %
5 kx And 1.1.81 is officially BugFree(tm), so if you receive any bug-reports
5 kx on it, you know they are just evil lies.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds
5 kx %
5 kx We are Pentium of Borg. Division is futile. You will be approximated.
5 kx -- seen in someone's .signature
5 kx %
5 kx Linux: the operating system with a CLUE... Command Line User Environment.
5 kx -- seen in a posting in comp.software.testing
5 kx %
5 kx quit When the quit statement is read, the bc processor
5 kx is terminated, regardless of where the quit state-
5 kx ment is found. For example, "if (0 == 1) quit"
5 kx will cause bc to terminate.
5 kx -- seen in the manpage for "bc". Note the "if" statement's logic
5 kx %
5 kx Sic transit discus mundi
5 kx -- From the System Administrator's Guide, by Lars Wirzenius
5 kx %
5 kx Sigh. I like to think it's just the Linux people who want to be on
5 kx the "leading edge" so bad they walk right off the precipice.
5 kx -- Craig E. Groeschel
5 kx %
5 kx We all know Linux is great... it does infinite loops in 5 seconds.
5 kx - Linus Torvalds about the superiority of Linux on the Amterdam Linux Symposium
5 kx %
5 kx Waving away a cloud of smoke, I look up, and am blinded by a bright, white
5 kx light. It's God. No, not Richard Stallman, or Linus Torvalds, but God. In
5 kx a booming voice, He says: "THIS IS A SIGN. USE LINUX, THE FREE UNIX SYSTEM
5 kx FOR THE 386.
5 kx -- Matt Welsh
5 kx %
5 kx The chat program is in public domain. This is not the GNU public license.
5 kx If it breaks then you get to keep both pieces.
5 kx -- Copyright notice for the chat program
5 kx %
5 kx 'Mounten' wird für drei Dinge benutzt: 'Aufsitzen' auf Pferde, 'einklinken'
5 kx von Festplatten in Dateisysteme, und, nun, 'besteigen' beim Sex.
5 kx -- Christa Keil
5 kx %
5 kx Manchmal stehe nachts auf und installier's mir einfach...
5 kx -- H0arry @ IRC
5 kx %
5 kx 'Mounting' is used for three things: climbing on a horse, linking in a
5 kx hard disk unit in data systems, and, well, mounting during sex.
5 kx -- Christa Keil
5 kx %
5 kx We are using Linux daily to UP our productivity - so UP yours!
5 kx -- Adapted from Pat Paulsen by Joe Sloan
5 kx %
5 kx But what can you do with it?
5 kx -- ubiquitous cry from Linux-user partner
5 kx %
5 kx /*
5 kx * [...] Note that 120 sec is defined in the protocol as the maximum
5 kx * possible RTT. I guess we'll have to use something other than TCP
5 kx * to talk to the University of Mars.
5 kx * PAWS allows us longer timeouts and large windows, so once implemented
5 kx * ftp to mars will work nicely.
5 kx */
5 kx -- from /usr/src/linux/net/inet/tcp.c, concerning RTT [round trip time]
5 kx %
5 kx DOS: n., A small annoying boot virus that causes random spontaneous system
5 kx crashes, usually just before saving a massive project. Easily cured by
5 kx UNIX. See also MS-DOS, IBM-DOS, DR-DOS.
5 kx -- David Vicker's .plan
5 kx %
5 kx MSDOS didn't get as bad as it is overnight -- it took over ten years
5 kx of careful development.
5 kx -- dmeggins@aix1.uottawa.ca
5 kx %
5 kx LILO, you've got me on my knees!
5 kx -- David Black, dblack@pilot.njin.net, with apologies to Derek and the
5 kx Dominos, and Werner Almsberger
5 kx %
5 kx I've run DOOM more in the last few days than I have the last few
5 kx months. I just love debugging ;-)
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds
5 kx %
5 kx Microsoft Corp., concerned by the growing popularity of the free 32-bit
5 kx operating system for Intel systems, Linux, has employed a number of top
5 kx programmers from the underground world of virus development. Bill Gates stated
5 kx yesterday: "World domination, fast -- it's either us or Linus". Mr. Torvalds
5 kx was unavailable for comment ...
5 kx -- Robert Manners, rjm@swift.eng.ox.ac.uk, in comp.os.linux.setup
5 kx %
5 kx The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple. After that, it's all learned.
5 kx -- Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, on X interfaces
5 kx %
5 kx After watching my newly-retired dad spend two weeks learning how to make a new
5 kx folder, it became obvious that "intuitive" mostly means "what the writer or
5 kx speaker of intuitive likes".
5 kx -- Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, on X the intuitiveness of a Mac interface
5 kx %
5 kx Now I know someone out there is going to claim, "Well then, UNIX is intuitive,
5 kx because you only need to learn 5000 commands, and then everything else follows
5 kx from that! Har har har!"
5 kx -- Andy Bates on "intuitive interfaces", slightly defending Macs
5 kx %
5 kx > No manual is ever necessary.
5 kx May I politely interject here: BULLSHIT. That's the biggest Apple lie of all!
5 kx -- Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of interfaces
5 kx %
5 kx How do I type "for i in *.dvi do xdvi $i done" in a GUI?
5 kx -- Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of interfaces
5 kx %
5 kx >Ever heard of .cshrc?
5 kx That's a city in Bosnia. Right?
5 kx -- Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of commands
5 kx %
5 kx Who wants to remember that escape-x-alt-control-left shift-b puts you into
5 kx super-edit-debug-compile mode?
5 kx -- Discussion on the intuitiveness of commands, especially Emacs
5 kx %
5 kx Anyone who thinks UNIX is intuitive should be forced to write 5000 lines of
5 kx code using nothing but vi or emacs. AAAAACK!
5 kx -- Discussion on the intuitiveness of commands, especially Emacs
5 kx %
5 kx Now, it we had this sort of thing:
5 kx yield -a for yield to all traffic
5 kx yield -t for yield to trucks
5 kx yield -f for yield to people walking (yield foot)
5 kx yield -d t* for yield on days starting with t
5 kx
5 kx ...you'd have a lot of dead people at intersections, and traffic jams you
5 kx wouldn't believe...
5 kx -- Discussion on the intuitiveness of commands
5 kx %
5 kx Actually, typing random strings in the Finder does the equivalent of
5 kx filename completion.
5 kx -- Discussion on file completion vs. the Mac Finder
5 kx %
5 kx Not me, guy. I read the Bash man page each day like a Jehovah's Witness reads
5 kx the Bible. No wait, the Bash man page IS the bible. Excuse me...
5 kx -- More on confusing aliases, taken from comp.os.linux.misc
5 kx %
5 kx On the Internet, no one knows you're using Windows NT
5 kx -- Submitted by Ramiro Estrugo, restrugo@fateware.com
5 kx %
5 kx > I'm an idiot.. At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..
5 kx Disquieting ...
5 kx -- Gonzalo Tornaria in response to Linus Torvalds's
5 kx %
5 kx > I'm an idiot.. At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..
5 kx We need to find some new terms to describe the rest of us mere mortals
5 kx then.
5 kx -- Craig Schlenter in response to Linus Torvalds's
5 kx %
5 kx > I'm an idiot.. At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..
5 kx Surely, Linus is talking about the kind of idiocy that others aspire to :-).
5 kx -- Bruce Perens in response to Linus Torvalds's
5 kx %
5 kx Never make any mistaeks.
5 kx -- Anonymous, in a mail discussion about to a kernel bug report
5 kx %
5 kx +#if defined(__alpha__) && defined(CONFIG_PCI)
5 kx + /*
5 kx + * The meaning of life, the universe, and everything. Plus
5 kx + * this makes the year come out right.
5 kx + */
5 kx + year -= 42;
5 kx +#endif
5 kx -- From the patch for 1.3.2: (kernel/time.c), submitted by Marcus Meissner
5 kx %
5 kx As usual, this being a 1.3.x release, I haven't even compiled this
5 kx kernel yet. So if it works, you should be doubly impressed.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds, announcing kernel 1.3.3
5 kx %
5 kx People disagree with me. I just ignore them.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds, regarding the use of C++ for the Linux kernel
5 kx %
5 kx It's now the GNU Emacs of all terminal emulators.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds, regarding the fact that Linux started off as a terminal emulator
5 kx %
5 kx Audience: What will become of Linux when the Hurd is ready?
5 kx Eric Youngdale: Err... is Richard Stallman here?
5 kx -- From the Linux conference in spring '95, Berlin
5 kx %
5 kx Linux: The OS people choose without $200,000,000 of persuasion.
5 kx -- Mike Coleman
5 kx %
5 kx The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small children.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds
5 kx %
5 kx ... faster BogoMIPS calculations (yes, it now boots 2 seconds faster than
5 kx it used to: we're considering changing the name from "Linux" to "InstaBOOT"
5 kx -- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.26
5 kx %
5 kx ... of course, this probably only happens for tcsh which uses wait4(),
5 kx which is why I never saw it. Serves people who use that abomination
5 kx right 8^)
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds, about a patch that fixes getrusage for 1.3.26
5 kx %
5 kx It's a bird..
5 kx It's a plane..
5 kx No, it's KernelMan, faster than a speeding bullet, to your rescue.
5 kx Doing new kernel versions in under 5 seconds flat..
5 kx -- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27
5 kx %
5 kx Eh, that's it, I guess. No 300 million dollar unveiling event for this
5 kx kernel, I'm afraid, but you're still supposed to think of this as the
5 kx "happening of the century" (at least until the next kernel comes along).
5 kx -- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27
5 kx %
5 kx Oh, and this is another kernel in that great and venerable "BugFree(tm)"
5 kx series of kernels. So be not afraid of bugs, but go out in the streets
5 kx and deliver this message of joy to the masses.
5 kx -- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27
5 kx %
5 kx When you say 'I wrote a program that crashed Windows', people just stare at
5 kx you blankly and say 'Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*'.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds
5 kx %
5 kx Never trust an operating system you don't have sources for. ;-)
5 kx -- Unknown source
5 kx %
5 kx > Linux is not user-friendly.
5 kx It _is_ user-friendly. It is not ignorant-friendly and idiot-friendly.
5 kx -- Seen somewhere on the net
5 kx %
5 kx Keep me informed on the behaviour of this kernel.. As the "BugFree(tm)"
5 kx series didn't turn out too well, I'm starting a new series called the
5 kx "ItWorksForMe(tm)" series, of which this new kernel is yet another
5 kx shining example.
5 kx -- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.29
5 kx %
5 kx Seriously, the way I did this was by using a special /sbin/loader binary
5 kx with debugging hooks that I made ("dd" is your friend: binary editors
5 kx are for wimps).
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds, in an article on a dnserver
5 kx %
5 kx (I tried to get some documentation out of Digital on this, but as far as
5 kx I can tell even _they_ don't have it ;-)
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds, in an article on a dnserver
5 kx %
5 kx Q: Why shouldn't I simply delete the stuff I never use, it's just taking up
5 kx space?
5 kx A: This question is in the category of Famous Last Words..
5 kx -- From the Frequently Unasked Questions
5 kx %
5 kx Q: What's the big deal about rm, I have been deleting stuff for years? And
5 kx never lost anything.. oops!
5 kx A: ...
5 kx -- From the Frequently Unasked Questions
5 kx %
5 kx Linux is addictive, I'm hooked!
5 kx -- MaDsen Wikholm's .sig
5 kx %
5 kx panic("Foooooooood fight!");
5 kx -- In the kernel source aha1542.c, after detecting a bad segment list
5 kx %
5 kx Convention organizer to Linus Torvalds: "You might like to come with us
5 kx to some licensed[1] place, and have some pizza."
5 kx
5 kx Linus: "Oh, I did not know that you needed a license to eat pizza".
5 kx
5 kx [1] Licenced - refers in Australia to a restaurant which has government
5 kx licence to sell liquor.
5 kx -- Linus at a talk at the Melbourne University
5 kx %
5 kx Footnotes are for things you believe don't really belong in LDP manuals,
5 kx but want to include anyway.
5 kx -- Joel N. Weber II discussing the 'make' chapter of LPG
5 kx %
5 kx Eh, that's it, I guess. No 300 million dollar unveiling event for this
5 kx kernel, I'm afraid, but you're still supposed to think of this as the
5 kx "happening of the century" (at least until the next kernel comes along).
5 kx Oh, and this is another kernel in that great and venerable "BugFree(tm)"
5 kx series of kernels. So be not afraid of bugs, but go out in the streets
5 kx and deliver this message of joy to the masses.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds, on releasing 1.3.27
5 kx %
5 kx Ok, I'm just uploading the new version of the kernel, v1.3.33, also
5 kx known as "the buggiest kernel ever".
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds
5 kx %
5 kx Go not unto the Usenet for advice, for you will be told both yea and nay (and
5 kx quite a few things that just have nothing at all to do with the question).
5 kx -- seen in a .sig somewhere
5 kx %
5 kx Those who don't understand Linux are doomed to reinvent it, poorly.
5 kx -- unidentified source
5 kx %
5 kx Look, I'm about to buy me a double barreled sawed off shotgun and show
5 kx Linus what I think about backspace and delete not working.
5 kx -- some anonymous .signature
5 kx %
5 kx I forgot to mention an important fact in the 1.3.67 announcement. In order to
5 kx get a fully working kernel, you have to follow the steps below:
5 kx - Walk around your computer widdershins 3 times, chanting "Linus is
5 kx overworked, and he makes lousy patches, but we love him anyway". Get
5 kx your spuouse to do this too for extra effect. Children are optional.
5 kx - Apply the patch included in this mail
5 kx - Call your system "Super-67", and don't forget to unapply the patch
5 kx before you later applying the official 1.3.68 patch.
5 kx - reboot
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds, announcing another kernel patch
5 kx %
5 kx We apologize for the inconvenience, but we'd still like yout to test out
5 kx this kernel.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds, announcing another kernel patch
5 kx %
5 kx The new Linux anthem will be "He's an idiot, but he's ok", as performed by
5 kx Monthy Python. You'd better start practicing.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds, announcing another kernel patch
5 kx %
5 kx How do you power off this machine?
5 kx -- Linus, when upgrading linux.cs.helsinki.fi, and after using the machine for several months
5 kx %
5 kx Excusing bad programming is a shooting offence, no matter _what_ the
5 kx circumstances.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds, to the linux-kernel list
5 kx %
5 kx Linus? Whose that?
5 kx -- clueless newbie on #Linux
5 kx %
5 kx N: Phil Lewis
5 kx E: beans@bucket.ualr.edu
5 kx D: Promised to send money if I would put his name in the source tree.
5 kx S: PO Box 371
5 kx S: North Little Rock, Arkansas 72115
5 kx S: US
5 kx -- /usr/src/linux/CREDITS
5 kx %
5 kx > You know you are "there" when you are known by your first name, and
5 kx > are recognized.
5 kx > Lemmie see, there is Madonna, and Linus, and ..... help me out here!
5 kx Bill ? ;-)
5 kx -- From some postings on comp.os.linux.misc
5 kx %
5 kx Whoa...I did a 'zcat /vmlinuz > /dev/audio' and I think I heard God...
5 kx -- mikecd on #Linux
5 kx %
5 kx Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies the
5 kx grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen a angry penguin
5 kx charging at them in excess of 100mph. They'd be a lot more careful about what
5 kx they say if they had.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds, announcing Linux v2.0
5 kx %
5 kx MS-DOS, you can't live with it, you can live without it.
5 kx -- from Lars Wirzenius' .sig
5 kx %
5 kx > If you don't need X then little VT-100 terminals are available for real
5 kx > cheap. Should be able to find decent ones used for around $40 each.
5 kx > For that price, they're a must for the kitchen, den, bathrooms, etc.. :)
5 kx You're right. Can you explain this to my wife?
5 kx -- Seen on c.o.l.development.system, on the subject of extra terminals
5 kx %
5 kx .. I used to get in more fights with SCO than I did my girlfriend, but
5 kx now, thanks to Linux, she has more than happily accepted her place back at
5 kx number one antagonist in my life..
5 kx -- Jason Stiefel, krypto@s30.nmex.com
5 kx %
5 kx I mean, well, if it were not for Linux I might be roaming the streets looking
5 kx for drugs or prostitutes or something. Hannu and Linus have my highest
5 kx admiration (apple polishing mode off).
5 kx -- Phil Lewis, plewis@nyx.nyx.net
5 kx %
5 kx > What does ELF stand for (in respect to Linux?)
5 kx ELF is the first rock group that Ronnie James Dio performed with back in
5 kx the early 1970's. In constrast, a.out is a misspelling of the French word
5 kx for the month of August. What the two have in common is beyond me, but
5 kx Linux users seem to use the two words together.
5 kx -- seen on c.o.l.misc
5 kx %
5 kx "Linux was made by foreign terrorists to take money from true US companies
5 kx like Microsoft." - Some AOL'er.
5 kx "To this end we dedicate ourselves..." -Don
5 kx -- From the sig of "Don", don@cs.byu.edu
5 kx %
5 kx Shoot me again.
5 kx Just proving that the quickest way to solve the problem is to post a
5 kx whine to the newsgroups: within moments the solution presents itself to
5 kx me, and meanwhile my ass is hanging out on the Net... *sigh*...
5 kx -- Dave Phillips, dlphilp@bright.net, about problem solving via news
5 kx %
5 kx > Is there any hope for me? Am I just thick? Does anyone remember the
5 kx > Rubiks Cube, it was easier!
5 kx I found that the Rubiks cube and Linux are alike. Looks real confusing
5 kx until you read the right book. :-)
5 kx -- seen on c.o.l.misc, about the "Linux Learning Curve"
5 kx %
5 kx > I've hacked the Xaw3d library to give you a Win95 like interface and it
5 kx > is named Xaw95. You can replace your Xaw3d library.
5 kx Oh God, this is so disgusting!
5 kx -- seen on c.o.l.development.apps, about the "Win95 look-alike"
5 kx %
5 kx Besides, its really not worthwhile to use more than two times your physical
5 kx ram in swap (except in a select few situations). The performance of the system
5 kx becomes so abysmal you'd rather heat pins under your toenails while reciting
5 kx Windows95 source code and staring at porn flicks of Bob Dole than actually try
5 kx to type something.
5 kx -- seen on c.o.l.development.system, about the size of the swap space
5 kx %
5 kx > I get the following error messages at bootup, could anyone tell me
5 kx > what they mean?
5 kx > fcntl_setlk() called by process 51 (lpd) with broken flock() emulation
5 kx They mean that you have not read the documentation when upgrading the
5 kx kernel.
5 kx -- seen on c.o.l.misc
5 kx %
5 kx Only wimps use tape backup: _real_ men just upload their important stuff
5 kx on ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it ;)
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds, about his failing hard drive on linux.cs.helsinki.fi
5 kx %
5 kx One of the things that hamper Linux's climb to world domination is the
5 kx shortage of bad Computer Role Playing Games, or CRaPGs. No operating system
5 kx can be considered respectable without one.
5 kx -- Brian O'Donnell, odonnllb@tcd.ie
5 kx %
5 kx The game, anoraks.2.0.0.tgz, will be available from sunsite until somebody
5 kx responsible notices it and deletes it, and shortly from
5 kx ftp.mee.tcd.ie/pub/Brian, though they don't know that yet.
5 kx -- Brian O'Donnell, odonnllb@tcd.ie
5 kx %
5 kx 'Ooohh.. "FreeBSD is faster over loopback, when compared to Linux
5 kx over the wire". Film at 11.'
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds
5 kx %
5 kx Q: Would you like to see the WINE list?
5 kx A: What's on it, anything expensive?
5 kx Q: No, just Solitaire and MineSweeper for now, but the WINE is free.
5 kx -- Kevin M. Bealer, about the WINdows Emulator
5 kx %
5 kx So in the future, one 'client' at a time or you'll be spending CPU time with
5 kx lots of little 'child processes'.
5 kx -- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the private life of a Linux nerd
5 kx %
5 kx By the way, I can hardly feel sorry for you... All last night I had to listen
5 kx to her tears, so great they were redirected to a stream. What? Of _course_
5 kx you didn't know. You and your little group no longer have any permissions
5 kx around here. She changed her .lock files, too.
5 kx -- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the private life of a Linux nerd
5 kx %
5 kx We should start referring to processes which run in the background by their
5 kx correct technical name... paenguins.
5 kx -- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the penguin Linux logo
5 kx %
5 kx We can use symlinks of course... syslogd would be a symlink to syslogp and
5 kx ftpd and ircd would be linked to ftpp and ircp... and of course the
5 kx point-to-point protocal paenguin.
5 kx -- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the penguin Linux logo
5 kx %
5 kx This is a logical analogy too... anyone who's been around, knows the world is
5 kx run by paenguins. Always a paenguin behind the curtain, really getting things
5 kx done. And paenguins in politics--who can deny it?
5 kx -- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the penguin Linux logo
5 kx %
5 kx Linux: Where Don't We Want To Go Today?
5 kx -- Submitted by Pancrazio De Mauro, paraphrasing some well-known sales talk
5 kx %
5 kx The most important design issue... is the fact that Linux is supposed to
5 kx be fun...
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds at the First Dutch International Symposium on Linux
5 kx %
5 kx In short, at least give the penguin a fair viewing. If you still don't
5 kx like it, that's ok: that's why I'm boss. I simply know better than you do.
5 kx -- Linus "what, me arrogant?" Torvalds, on c.o.l.advocacy
5 kx %
5 kx <SomeLamer> what's the difference between chattr and chmod?
5 kx <SomeGuru> SomeLamer: man chattr > 1; man chmod > 2; diff -u 1 2 | less
5 kx -- Seen on #linux on irc
5 kx %
5 kx The linuX Files -- The Source is Out There.
5 kx -- Sent in by Craig S. Bell, goat@aracnet.com
5 kx %
5 kx "... being a Linux user is sort of like living in a house inhabited
5 kx by a large family of carpenters and architects. Every morning when
5 kx you wake up, the house is a little different. Maybe there is a new
5 kx turret, or some walls have moved. Or perhaps someone has temporarily
5 kx removed the floor under your bed." - Unix for Dummies, 2nd Edition
5 kx -- found in the .sig of Rob Riggs, rriggs@tesser.com
5 kx %
5 kx C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success
5 kx -- Dennis M. Ritchie
5 kx %
5 kx If Bill Gates is the Devil then Linus Torvalds must be the Messiah.
5 kx -- Unknown source
5 kx %
5 kx Vini, vidi, Linux!
5 kx -- Unknown source
5 kx %
5 kx The good thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from.
5 kx -- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
5 kx %
5 kx I'm telling you that the kernel is stable not because it's a kernel,
5 kx but because I refuse to listen to arguments like this.
5 kx -- Linus Torvalds
Radix cross Linux
The main Radix cross Linux repository contains the build scripts of packages, which have the most complete and common functionality for desktop machines
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2 Branches
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